watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
