4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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