omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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