Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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