you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
