Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
