I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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