wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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