the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
