I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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