Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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