Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
