we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
