So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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