no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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