Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
