Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
