I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
