If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
