He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This is the high leading the old right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
