Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
