There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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