Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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