Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
