Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
