Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
