Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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