Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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