It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
