is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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