we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
