I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
