Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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