After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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