you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
