Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Welp...herpes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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