we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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