so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
