He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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