Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
tell me about the eggs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
