I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
