we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize