I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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