well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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