Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
