wat bout pragnant strippers??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
