Come see our sink grown plant.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
