If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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