He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
