woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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