hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
