I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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